Frostbitten Pachyderm

May 16, 2006 at 8:08 pm Leave a comment

Have you seen the story about poor Maggie, the African elephant currently being imprisoned in an Alaskan zoo. Trainers, frantic to improve Maggie’s waning health, have invested ONE MILLION DOLLARS to build Maggie a treadmill. For months they’ve been trying to trick this poor girl into using the treadmill by tempting her over with her favorite treats…watermelon, apples, carrots, peanuts, bananas and sweet potatoes. Maggie has ventured no further than two tentative hoofs onto this contraption.

Well, OF COURSE NOT! The poor elephant is freaking freezing to death! An elephant in Alaska?? The poor thing wants a cup of hot chocolate and a fleece blanket for pete’s sake. She doesn’t care about some stupid moving sidewalk, she wants a nice, warm jungle with a monkey on her back. A little roll in some steaming mud. What do people use for brains?

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Wake Me When I know What I’m Writing Me Thinks Thou Doth Protest too much….

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