When Good Nutcrackers Go Bad

December 15, 2006 at 3:08 pm 21 comments

Three years ago we had a flood in our basement that ruined all the Christmas decorations I had packed in cardboard boxes rather than rubber totes.  Stuffed things nutcracker-one.jpgand the nutcracker collection.  Ironically, the only fellow that I remember surviving that flood was the little guy in the red coat and blue hat.  He’s the first one I was ever given, from Germany. 

Since then, other nutcrackers have wandered into the house from friends and family on a regular basis.  That tall guy in the crown is the haunted one.  I don’t remember where he came from.  He isn’t even especially old.  When I pulled him out of the packing box this season, his head was disconnected from his body, so I popped it back on.  Since then he’s also managed to lose the tip of his nose even though no human ever moves him from his place on the sideboard.  This morning, when I once again found him like this:nutcracker-two.jpg

I noticed a chip on his shoulder.

I make my primary living as an accountant, for pete’s sake, I’m a logical person.  My first thought was the grandgirls.  Turning a nutcracker to look at a Christmas tree is something  little girls would do.  But we find him this way even when the grandgirls aren’t here.  I ruled out Pap or Princess yanking my chain when he fell right off the cabinet while I was sitting in the room, minding my own business (smoking) slaving away on an editing job. 

He’s packed in there pretty good, so that rules out the fat cats ruger-and-duck.jpg(all the nutcrackers would be in a muddle on the floor) or even my fearsome dog.  Its a perplexing mystery this mobile nutcracker. Where does he go?  Assuming he must GO somewhere to keep losing these bits and pieces of himself, in addition to being turned away from his assigned place.  Scarier… what is he doing when he’s out getting himself scared up?  Curioser, and curioser…

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Entry filed under: Holidays.

This Feels Like Me Birthdays and Other Nonsense

21 Comments Add your own

  • 1. delmonti  |  December 15, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    Kat…… I think you need a hobby.

    😉

    Reply
  • 2. Mr. Fabulous  |  December 15, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Of course, one night he will slay you all in your beds, but there is really nothing you can do about it.

    Reply
  • 3. The Rev. Dr. Kate  |  December 15, 2006 at 7:06 pm

    Perhps I could send you an exorcism? Before he slays you all in your beds or tortures the cats?

    Reply
  • 4. Catch  |  December 15, 2006 at 7:37 pm

    hmmm…some night you will probably wake up from a sound sleep and he will be standing beside your bed looking down at you! LoL. Yikes!

    Reply
  • 5. Stacy  |  December 15, 2006 at 8:04 pm

    As long as he doesn’t start talking to you and telling you to do things.

    Reply
  • 6. FatWhiteMan  |  December 15, 2006 at 8:58 pm

    Those things creep me out. Maybe its just the name “nutcracker”–I dunno. A friend of mine gave me a Mad Scientist Nutcracker one year. That was about the worst.

    Reply
  • 7. guyana-gyal  |  December 15, 2006 at 10:08 pm

    Only Enid Blyton would be able to tell you.

    But I suspect he goes out at night, has wild redevous with girls in black fishnet stockings, maybe they go to smoky jazz clubs…

    Reply
  • 8. katcampbell  |  December 15, 2006 at 10:12 pm

    Delmonti – But I have a hobby…writing.

    Mr. Fab – I think we’re safe from being murdered in our sleep, this guy doesn’t have a weapon.

    Dr. Kate – Tortures the cats? The UPSIDE of having a haunted nutcracker.

    Catch – Now that does scare me!

    Stacy – So far he’s keeping his opinions to himself, who knows what he’s telling the other nutcrackers though.

    FWM – OOhh… a mad scientist nutcracker would be cool!

    GG – Are you suggesting my nutcracker has a more exciting life than me? Stiletto heels…that could explain the chip on his shoulder.

    Reply
  • 9. J.  |  December 15, 2006 at 10:18 pm

    That’s funny. I have visions of him roaming your house all night long.
    Are you sleeping well? *wink*

    Reply
  • 10. Shelli  |  December 15, 2006 at 10:47 pm

    I don’t know. Sometimes I just think that there are things we don’t have answers for. Maybe there is a ghost in your house that just likes that nutcracker and he/she takes him down to play with him when you aren’t watching. That’s my guess.

    Reply
  • 11. guyana-gyal  |  December 16, 2006 at 1:18 am

    Kat, you never know what that scamp is up to! Maybe he works for James Bond. Or maybe he IS the real James Bond.

    Lock him up in a box and see what happens. And please don’t mention my name.

    Reply
  • 12. katcampbell  |  December 16, 2006 at 2:06 am

    J. – Creepy thought, the little bugger roaming about. I’d hoped he was just turning around.

    Shelli – Ah, that’s cute! Princess has always told me there’s a ghost in the house, I’ve never seen him though.

    GG – Hmmm… James Bond in disguise as my Nutcracker. Much more palatable than a psychotic axe murderer plotting to kill me in my sleep.

    Reply
  • 13. bobciz  |  December 16, 2006 at 4:42 am

    Your first mistake was replacing his head. Now you’re paying for your well-meaning repair.

    Reply
  • 14. Quilldancer  |  December 16, 2006 at 7:09 am

    do do do do
    do do do do
    do do do do

    muhahahaha

    Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

    Reply
  • 15. Mimi  |  December 16, 2006 at 8:39 am

    I have had things in the house that wont stay put. It happens. But then again, was he previously owned by someone who is no longer with us? Keep us posted! LOL!

    Reply
  • 16. Hammer  |  December 16, 2006 at 11:37 am

    That is pretty freaky.

    You ought to set up a video camera to see what he does next.

    Reply
  • 17. katcampbell  |  December 16, 2006 at 5:44 pm

    Bob – Ungreatful little wretch… I should have left him headless.

    Quilly – Thanks, now that theme music is stuck in my head.

    Mimi – Could have been, I don’t know where the guy came from. I’m sticking to GGs idea that he’s really James Bond in disguise.

    Hammer – Why didn’t I think of that? Video may answer all my questions!

    Reply
  • 18. Quilldancer  |  December 16, 2006 at 7:02 pm

    Kat — de nada — glad to provid mood music anytime.

    Reply
  • 19. katcampbell  |  December 16, 2006 at 7:57 pm

    Quilly – LOL! There’s one in every crowd.

    Reply
  • 20. Hayden  |  December 17, 2006 at 12:25 am

    sounds like a set-up for a childrens story to me….but I will keep my grubby little mitts off of it.

    Reply
  • 21. katcampbell  |  December 17, 2006 at 9:32 am

    Hayden – I would be honored if you would make a children’s story out this wicked nutcracker. Might make the scary old thing worth the effort. Write on my friend!

    Reply

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