Archive for February 2, 2007

My Next Husband Must Be a Nerd

I married Pap because he was hot.  Of course we didn’t say “hot” back then, he was a “hunk”.  Unfortunately, hotness only lasts so long, and the old guy is getting a little frayed around the edges.  Barring a train jumping its tracks and crushing me, or one of my children poisoning my oatmeal, its likely that I will outlive him.  We don’t consider this a depressing topic in my house.  Pap will be the first one to start the “your next husband should be….” conjecture.  He claims its because he wants to be sure at least one more man must suffer the indignity of living with me. 

Thanks to David Carridine and his string of Nerd movies, its been socially acceptable to marry a nerd since the eighties.  But then it was also nerds.jpgthose movies that downgraded my status from nerd to dork.  Nerds are smart and clever with piles of money.  Dorks look like nerds but are broke.  Its important to keep your stereotypes straight you know. 

On second thought, since nerds now have their rightful place in society, its unlikely they’d prefer me to all the tall, blonde, model types.  We should perhaps look elsewhere for future husband candidates.  I’m open to suggestions.

February 2, 2007 at 6:35 pm 24 comments


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