My Next Husband Must Be a Nerd

February 2, 2007 at 6:35 pm 24 comments

I married Pap because he was hot.  Of course we didn’t say “hot” back then, he was a “hunk”.  Unfortunately, hotness only lasts so long, and the old guy is getting a little frayed around the edges.  Barring a train jumping its tracks and crushing me, or one of my children poisoning my oatmeal, its likely that I will outlive him.  We don’t consider this a depressing topic in my house.  Pap will be the first one to start the “your next husband should be….” conjecture.  He claims its because he wants to be sure at least one more man must suffer the indignity of living with me. 

Thanks to David Carridine and his string of Nerd movies, its been socially acceptable to marry a nerd since the eighties.  But then it was also nerds.jpgthose movies that downgraded my status from nerd to dork.  Nerds are smart and clever with piles of money.  Dorks look like nerds but are broke.  Its important to keep your stereotypes straight you know. 

On second thought, since nerds now have their rightful place in society, its unlikely they’d prefer me to all the tall, blonde, model types.  We should perhaps look elsewhere for future husband candidates.  I’m open to suggestions.


Entry filed under: randomness, Uncategorized.

Confessions of a Certified Dork Wasted Days and Wasted…well days

24 Comments Add your own

  • 1. hammer  |  February 2, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    Nerds are socially inept and can’t take a hint.

    I guess that’s typical of most men hehe.

  • 2. J.  |  February 2, 2007 at 6:57 pm

    Love the nerd and dork explanations. Made me giggle.
    My Husband falls into the ‘ass’ category. No write up about that one? *grin*

  • 3. rel  |  February 2, 2007 at 7:33 pm

    Marry someone who thinks you’re beautiful.
    Someone who whispers in yor ear and makes you swoon.
    Anything more is frosting and frosting has too many calories.

  • 4. katcampbell  |  February 2, 2007 at 7:56 pm

    Hammer – I’ll socially adept and can take a hint, so I’ll make up for nerdy husbands failings while I spend his money.

    Jan – Hmmm… I think I’ll bypass the ass category.

    Excellent advice Rel, but that’s what I got the first time…

  • 5. Jackie  |  February 2, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Alright – someone has finally explained to me, the difference between nerds and dorks! 🙂

  • 6. katcampbell  |  February 2, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    Glad to be of service Jackie.

  • 7. Stacy  |  February 2, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    I think you’re right about us being twins divided at birth (‘cept for the whole thing about being different ages…maybe it was a lonnnnnggggg labor). I so married me a hunk back in the 80s. Now that 50’s just around the corner, and the fact that even with his family’s doomsday health history he doesn’t believe in doctors till a trip to the emergency room is required, I often find myself wondering…”Hunk of what?”
    Seriously, we have the same discussions you and Pap do because there is no way Tim is going to outlive me (unless I’m on the tracks with you).

  • 8. katcampbell  |  February 2, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Hey, I married Pap in 1981, there were quite a lot of hunks wandering around back then, weren’t there Stacy?

  • 9. bobciz  |  February 2, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    Your next husband should probably be either a derd or a nork. Surely there is mad scientist somewhere cross breeding the types to come up with a hybrid that would be acceptible to you and who would find you tolerable as well. Anything is possible.

  • 10. katcampbell  |  February 3, 2007 at 1:02 am

    LOL Bob! I think it will take a derd or nork to want to marry me!

  • 11. Linda  |  February 3, 2007 at 2:37 am

    My husband is definitely a nerd, but we are definitely not loaded. He is one of the smartest guys I ever met and in fact this is what attracted me to him. He always jokes that I was not into him for his body. He is a computer programmer for a large non-profit hospital. He could make a good bit more money by leaving, but the nerd in him likes to work for a non-profit organization. He loves computers and at one point in our small three bedroom townhouse, we had four computers all networked (we are down to three, because I gave up my desktop to make some room for the new baby). I gave up looks for the long conersations that we will have once we retire. Of course, by then we will be getting on each other’s nerves so much that we probably won’t even want to be in the same room!

  • 12. Gawpo  |  February 3, 2007 at 5:50 am

    If I hear one complaint, I am going to have to take names. You all don’t know how lucky you are. Case in point: I don’t even HAVE a husband.

  • 13. John Linna  |  February 3, 2007 at 6:41 am

    Par will probably out live you. He will marry a cute blonde who is also a nerd.

  • 14. Catch  |  February 3, 2007 at 7:58 am

    my next man is going to be Bob Vila….my ex couldnt fix a damn thing!

  • 15. smileymama  |  February 3, 2007 at 8:39 am

    Ha! Good stuff. I was a cheerleader who married a jock, but ya know what? Really, we’re both just a coupla dorks, and we always have been! We’re OK with that, most of our friends are dorks, too, ha…

  • 16. katcampbell  |  February 3, 2007 at 9:08 am

    Linda – Nope, I’m sorry, if you aren’t rolling in dough, you’re hubby has only achieved dork status. Don’t feel bad, I’m finding that there’s quite a lot of us.

    Gawpo – LOL, how inconsiderate of us…I’ll send you Pap.

    Dr. John – That will be A-Okay with me. He’d deserve a cute blonde after putting up with me for all these years.

    Catch – Bob Villa is an old guy, you need Ty Pennington…now that would be something to live for.

    Smileymama – How great that you can admit it!

  • 17. DaveM  |  February 3, 2007 at 11:53 am

    I’m sure Pap will last a long time yet, he has too for the sake of all the other “next ones” out there………Hang on in there Pap.

  • 18. QuillDancer  |  February 3, 2007 at 7:56 pm

    Kat — I looked and looked to no avail — gaver up and one found me. Definately a nerd — but he makes me laugh, and he thinks I’m wonderful. What more could I want?

  • 19. Janet  |  February 3, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    Ah, finally someone cleared up the difference between “nerd” and “dork”. Thank you.

  • 20. Stacy  |  February 4, 2007 at 1:15 am

    Was just reading through the comments and had to respond to Catch’s comment about her next man being Bob Vila….don’t count on it. Mine’s definitely the BV type. Problem is….he’s always so busy working or fixing stuff for other people he’s too tired or doesn’t have time to fix it at home.

  • 21. katcampbell  |  February 4, 2007 at 4:35 am

    Dave – I see how you are! :>)

    Quilly – Nothing more than that!

    Janet – Glad to be of service.

    Stacy – Say it aint so? Your handy guy is not handy at home? I’m devastated.

  • 22. Gawpo  |  February 4, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    Please tell me you mean your husband and not the smear. (Please?)

  • 23. katcampbell  |  February 4, 2007 at 4:03 pm

    Gawpo! Now we see just why you don’t have a husband of your own!

  • 24. Nessa  |  February 5, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    So funny.


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