Divas and Other Energy Sucking Folk

This was a chaotic week, fraught with emotion. From joy (I finished the book) to worry (teacher daughter has been placed on bedrest because of potential toxemia) to anger that has now simmered down into disgust. 

We have an author who wants to be a bestselling author.  What writer does’nt?  But getting there requires not just a good book, but hard work and to be honest, luck.  Mine is a tiny publishing company that doesn’t put on airs.  We don’t have money for ads in the New York Times, author advances, elaborate book tours, or hundreds of advance  reading copies.  We are right up front about these things with all of our authors.  Its spelled out clearly in the contract that they sign.  We exist at all because the big houses are so flooded with manuscripts that Hemingway wouldn’t get noticed in this day and time except through pure luck.  Our role is to provide a finished book to good first time authors, do what we can to get it noticed by the experts in the industry and sold as well as we can.  Our purpse is to provide good first time authors with a publishing credit that they can parlay into getting their next book noticed by someone bigger than us.  This is all clearly explained to our authors before they sign a contact.  All of them get it…except the Diva. 

The Diva writes the most heinous, venamous letters full of blarney you’ve ever seen.  Then she’ll end them with “any reply to this letter should be sent to the attention of my husband.”  Makes my teeth hurt dealing with the girl nowdays.  But I have learned a few things from our prima dona, what not to do after you’ve landed a publishing contract:

1.  Make sure that you find your editor’s suggestions for your manuscript “funny” and don’t make any attempt to take them.

2.  Ask for things that your publisher never offered and has no intention of providing.  When they don’t comply publicly trash them.

3.  Expect your publisher to let you set the price of your book.  When they don’t comply see 2. above.

4.  Bury their e-mail boxes with ridiculous demands based on air and then refuse to read the answers pulled from your contract. 

5.  Turn down book signings arranged by your publisher within one mile of your location because they won’t pay for cab fare.

6.  Make sure you don’t spend one moment being thankful, not necessarily to your publisher, but to whatever higher being you recognize has helped you take that first step toward your dream. 

Those of you that dream of making a living as a writer, remember to enjoy the journey.  Be realistic, read your contract, and know that with the exception of those authors who have multiple bestsellers or land one of those million dollar contracts, most authors have to work very hard right along with their publisher to get the book sold.