Archive for April 10, 2007

The Mother’s Curse

There really should be a law prohibiting mothers from saying things like:  “I hope you have kids just LIKE YOU!” Those are powerful magic words.  You utter them (or screech them depending on just how bad your kids are being) and all the energy from all the mothers alive or dead races in and makes sure your wish comes true.  Yes, I used the mother’s curse frequently while raising my kids.   I didn’t know it really worked.  I thought it was just a rumour, an urban myth.

But then came grandgirl #1, my jewel, my treasure, my Jazzmin, who acts JUST LIKE HER MOTHER.  I once believed that I would never again have to say things like “you roll those eyes one more time and I’m popping them out and feeding them to the cat.”  But a confrontation with Jazz is like stepping back to 1989 and confronting her mother.  They look alike, they talk alike and they are both stubborn as mules.  Jazz accepted the penalty of early bedtime last night rather than admit that all dimes are the same size. 

Now comes grandgirl #5, my princess, my privileged one, my Ayla.  Her mother, my daughter, and her husband are both teachers. They’ve planned, prepared and saved for a baby.  They are diligent and attentive parents without being ridiculous.  Ayla screams from dusk to dawn with colic…just like her mother.  I remember the night I laid the mother’s curse on poor, unsuspecting 2nd daughter.  It was 1981, I was exhausted and weepy, I hadn’t had more than four hours of sleep a day for weeks…we’d tried bottles, rocking, baths, car rides…and still she screamed.  That’s when I did it, uttered the mother’s curse that she’d have five…just like her. 

I didn’t know the curse was real, honest.  In light of these recent events proving the effectiveness of The Mother’s Curse, I’ve sent urgent messages to my son to stay celebate, kids are not an option for him.


April 10, 2007 at 2:58 pm 21 comments

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