The Mother’s Curse

April 10, 2007 at 2:58 pm 21 comments

There really should be a law prohibiting mothers from saying things like:  “I hope you have kids just LIKE YOU!” Those are powerful magic words.  You utter them (or screech them depending on just how bad your kids are being) and all the energy from all the mothers alive or dead races in and makes sure your wish comes true.  Yes, I used the mother’s curse frequently while raising my kids.   I didn’t know it really worked.  I thought it was just a rumour, an urban myth.

But then came grandgirl #1, my jewel, my treasure, my Jazzmin, who acts JUST LIKE HER MOTHER.  I once believed that I would never again have to say things like “you roll those eyes one more time and I’m popping them out and feeding them to the cat.”  But a confrontation with Jazz is like stepping back to 1989 and confronting her mother.  They look alike, they talk alike and they are both stubborn as mules.  Jazz accepted the penalty of early bedtime last night rather than admit that all dimes are the same size. 

Now comes grandgirl #5, my princess, my privileged one, my Ayla.  Her mother, my daughter, and her husband are both teachers. They’ve planned, prepared and saved for a baby.  They are diligent and attentive parents without being ridiculous.  Ayla screams from dusk to dawn with colic…just like her mother.  I remember the night I laid the mother’s curse on poor, unsuspecting 2nd daughter.  It was 1981, I was exhausted and weepy, I hadn’t had more than four hours of sleep a day for weeks…we’d tried bottles, rocking, baths, car rides…and still she screamed.  That’s when I did it, uttered the mother’s curse that she’d have five…just like her. 

I didn’t know the curse was real, honest.  In light of these recent events proving the effectiveness of The Mother’s Curse, I’ve sent urgent messages to my son to stay celebate, kids are not an option for him.

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Entry filed under: funny, kids.

Views When You Have Kids…

21 Comments Add your own

  • 1. hammer  |  April 10, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    Use your powers wisely sensei 😉

    Reply
  • 2. guyana-gyal  |  April 10, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    Uh-oh. What was your son like when he was a boy?

    Reply
  • 3. Janet  |  April 10, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    I don’t know if my mom ever uttered the Mother’s Curse, but she admitted to me that she got some satisfaction when my brother’s three boys gave him trouble. 😉

    Reply
  • 4. Linda  |  April 10, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    My husband was a hellion when he was a child, so we were doomed and Sophia was living proof of the mother’s curse. I have to say though, Nicholas is a total reward, although I was a great baby according to most who knew me then. I am sorry for us once Sophia hits middle school, because that is when all of my trouble started. Middle school really stinks!!!

    Reply
  • 5. katcampbell  |  April 10, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    Hammer – too late for me, I only hope these younge mothers heed my warning.

    GG – He was a total and complete mother’s nightmare. I’m sure I cursed him daily. That’s why he is to never, ever have kids.

    Janet – LOL. I bet you were a little angel.

    Linda – Hooray, you got one of each. Most people say boys are easier to raise than girls. I didn’t find that to be true, but then I was raised among women, I understand girls and boys remain a mystery.

    Reply
  • 6. Stacy  |  April 10, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    The power must have failed in our families because not only did everyone wish us kids just like us, but they kept wishing twins on us. The former came true, but thankfully, not the latter.

    Reply
  • 7. Dave M  |  April 10, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    Ummm….. technically Jasmin may be right you know, old dimes and new dimes may differ very very slightly in weight.

    Can’t comment about the efect of the curse as our two are busy enjoying life to even stop and think about having children themselves.

    Reply
  • 8. Dave M  |  April 11, 2007 at 10:31 am

    Sorry….Jazzmin.

    Reply
  • 9. tony  |  April 11, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    Oh, the mother’s curse is real.

    I always used to say that I would never raise my children like you (mom and dad) raised me. I was wrong. I do.

    And the curse, it worked. My daughter is not only a spittin’ image of me…but she’s just as rambunctious and ornery as me.

    Reply
  • 10. katcampbell  |  April 11, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Stacy – It worked! There is a twins clause in the mother’s curse. Wishing twins on your kids only works if you’re a terrible mother. Obviously yours was fabulous.

    Dave – She wasn’t talking about weight, goofy girl was trying to convince me the dime was the same size as a nickel.

    Tony – Nice to see you! Its been a long time. The good news about having kids just like us is that we know how to keep ahead of them.

    Reply
  • 11. bobciz  |  April 12, 2007 at 5:37 am

    The corrolary to the mother’s curse is “someday when you have kids you’ll understand.” I have to admit that’s been said around here a few times.

    Reply
  • 12. smileymama  |  April 12, 2007 at 7:30 am

    Oh, crap. Too late for me. Already went and cursed ’em.

    Reply
  • 13. hayden  |  April 12, 2007 at 8:01 am

    too funny!

    does it count when you get on with one parent, and not with the other? I don’t believe I was ever any trouble with my mother, but my dad and I got on each others’ last nerve from the beginning.

    no kids, so if they cursed me, it ends here. 😉

    Reply
  • 14. Catch  |  April 12, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    haha Kat, too cute. My grandson had colic….wow, none of mine ever did thank goodness so the curse must have came from my DIL’s Mother! lol

    Reply
  • 15. katcampbell  |  April 12, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    Bob – So true! Which has reminded me of an incident in which that particular parental curse came up in my life.

    LOL Smileymom! Its okay, its tradition now.

    Hayden – I fear the curses leveled on you may be floating around sticking to someone else.

    Catch – Colic is just the worst. You want to cut your own ears off just to escape the noise.

    Reply
  • 16. Mr. Fabulous  |  April 12, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    Jazz accepted the penalty of early bedtime last night rather than admit that all dimes are the same size.

    For some reason…I love everything about that line. I can picture the argument, and to me it is hilarious. I will be thinking about this line all day!

    Reply
  • 17. mrsjosegoldbloom  |  April 12, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    I know my Mom cursed me….and I cursed my daughters…what have I done?

    Reply
  • 18. katcampbell  |  April 12, 2007 at 9:45 pm

    Mr. Fab – You find stubborn rebellion funny? Sheesh (slaps forehead) of course you do! Jazzmin is a pistol, and eventually this stubborness will pass.

    Mrs. Jose – I know, its shocking isn’t it? We should start a support group.

    Reply
  • 19. sunfloweroptimism  |  April 13, 2007 at 7:56 am

    My daughter was born May 12, 1985 (Mother’s Day!) She started to sleep through the night on January 5th, 1986. My ob-gyn was shocked when I came back pregnant with my second – his words “After all you went through with HER, you’re having ANOTHER?”

    Yes, and let me tell you, they are BOTH in serious trouble when they have children – it was either The Mother’s Curse or beatings! LOL

    Aren’t you glad you’re only the grandma, this time around? 😉

    Reply
  • 20. Shelli  |  April 13, 2007 at 8:31 am

    Jazz sounds like me. 😉

    I never uttered the curse to my willful one. I thought it plenty of times, but I never uttered it. My dad and I didn’t get along very well when I was a teen. (I’m sure you can see why, since I am a lot like Jazz.) He uttered the curse many times. When he did, I always had a mouthy reply, “Why? You want your grandchildren to be as miserable as I am?” In any case, he got his wish in my oldest, Ashley.

    Reply
  • 21. Gela Words  |  April 18, 2007 at 5:43 am

    My mother NEVER, EVER uttered that curse. Rather she screamed it, said it vengefully. I’m still trying to work out a deal with Him because now that I know that it does work, my life will be a nightmare when I have children. Oh Lord, please, please forgive my transgressions as a child and not let the brat be anything like me then.

    Reply

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