Apartment Life

April 17, 2007 at 6:46 am 34 comments

It’s been a long time since I lived in an apartment.  I’d forgotten how chummy you get with the neighbors.  The girl next door is named Amber.  I know this because that’s what her boyfriend begins every sentence with when he’s yelling at her.  His name is either shutthefuckup, or getoutamyfaceasshole.  She uses them both. 

The people downstairs have triplets.  Adorable little toddlers no older than 2 or 2 1/2.  One of them suffers from night terrors.  He goes off like a fire alarm every morning around 1 a.m.  His mother must be a graduate of the Joan Crawford school of parenting.  Her strategy for calming him down consists of yelling over the top of him with vile threats of orphanages and dismemberment. 

These are really nice apartments.  They have controlled entries, cathedral ceilings, real wooden wood work.  They aren’t cheap and there’s all kinds of rules about where you can park and what you can put on your balcony.  Everyone who lives here has a job… and still the residents act like they’re on the Jerry Springer show.  I shudder to think what I’d be hearing if we lived in an apartment we could actually afford. 

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Who, Me? A House is Not a Home

34 Comments Add your own

  • 1. QuillDancer  |  April 17, 2007 at 9:21 am

    I don’t suppose this was supposed to make me laugh, but I couldn’t help it. My neighbors are related to your neighbors. It is a small world, isn’t it?

    Reply
  • 2. Catch  |  April 17, 2007 at 9:23 am

    Oh my Kat…the boy and girl fighting I could take…but I couldnt handle that Mother screaming like that at her child. No wonder it has night terrors! Ever think of earplugs? They might help you to sleep and I have seen some soft ones at Wally World. ( Dont know how well they work but..its worth a try.) You just never know what goes on in someone elses house do you? ( unless of course you can hear them!!!! lol)

    Reply
  • 3. hammer  |  April 17, 2007 at 9:54 am

    I hated apartments. I had jerry springer to the left, ricky lake to the right and jeffery dahlmer below.

    Reply
  • 4. Dave M  |  April 17, 2007 at 10:45 am

    It made me laugh too , but I’m sure the noisy neighbours are a real pain. Its amazing that people who shout and scream like that dont take the time out to actually look at themselves. I hope it settles down Kat and becomes bearable.

    Reply
  • 5. katcampbell  |  April 17, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    Quilly – Of course it was supposed to make you laugh. What is funnier than real life sometimes?

    Catch – I worry about blocking out sound, because then i won’t hear Jazz and Bri. Eventually I’ll get used to it.

    Hammer – And you lived to tell about it! Oh good, there’s hope I’ll survive too.

    Dave – In actuality, I don’t mind all this. I am a writer after all, this experience may put a whole new edge on my fiction.

    Reply
  • 6. rel  |  April 17, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    Kat,
    When we were first married and both in school, we lived in a housing project that we could afford. I know where your coming from. In any case, your discription of Amber and STFU has me chuckling outloud. 😉
    Joan is scary however!
    rel

    Reply
  • 7. Leesa  |  April 17, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Funny and sad at the same time. We live on a street now that I could not have afforded growing up, and although the lawns are nicer and the houses are kept-up, I still hear the yelling at kids and the spouses discussing things. Some of the conversations are through muffled glass, but some are in backyards where I imagine they do not realize that their privacy fences do not hide the words.

    Reply
  • 8. tony  |  April 17, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    I lived in an a few apartments in my day. Couldn’t stand it. Not only for the paper-thin walls, but also because you have to listen to inconsiderate upstairs neighbors walking across their living room floor as loud as they could on their heels. Not a good memory, thank you very much.

    Reply
  • 9. Mimi  |  April 17, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    Well you rplace sounds beautiful. But I feel horrible for the kid downstairs. And there is nothing that can be done to stop mental abuse. The kid will make a tharapist rich one day.

    Reply
  • 10. J.  |  April 17, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    Ha! Funny what you hear when people don’t know you can hear.

    Reply
  • 11. FatWHiteMan  |  April 17, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    “His name is either shutthefuckup, or getoutamyfaceasshole.”

    Ha! That cracked me up. Thanks.

    Reply
  • 12. Janet  |  April 17, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    Look at it this way-there’s a lot of blog fodder there! 😉

    Reply
  • 13. mrsjosegoldbloom  |  April 17, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    Thanks for the chuckle Kat, but I’m sorry it was at your expense.

    Apartment living can be challenging, but it does have it’s upsides. No yard work (or minimal), no maintenance worries.

    Reply
  • 14. Stacy  |  April 17, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    The closest I came to living in an apartment was the dorms and for a while a duplex in the early years of our marriage. We did hear the fights, but unpleasant as those were, I prefered hearing them to the…uh….more intimate moments.

    Reply
  • 15. Shelli  |  April 17, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    It’s terrifying, isn’t it? I lived above a woman who every night at about 1am, I was awoken to the incredibly loud noises of her and her boyfriend, um, gettin’ busy. It was oh so ew!

    Reply
  • 16. katcampbell  |  April 17, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    Rel – I’m trying to think of a way to befriend if only to try to save her poor kid.

    Leesa – Isn’t it crazy? People are like ostriches sometimes, if they can’t see you, they assume you can’t hear them. Nuts.

    Ah Tony, you survived it!

    Mimi – Too true. Either that, or he’ll murder his mother in his sleep some day.

    Jan – I know if Pap’s over to visit and we decide to argue we now drive away to a secluded place.

    FWM – Long time no see! Glad I could make you laugh today.

    Janet – So true. I started keeping a notebook,this is a side of humanity I’ve never really been exposed to before.

    Mrs. Jose – True. I’m a neat freak and this little place lets me indulge my OCD in under two hours.

    Stacy & Shelli – So far, we aren’t hearing any of that. No footsteps, no loud music. The only time we hear the neighbors is when they’re screaming.

    Reply
  • 17. LauraJ  |  April 17, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Hang in there Kat! Someday you’ll be able to afford that appartment where neighbours call thier sweeties snookums and triplets sleep all through the night.

    Reply
  • 18. guyana-gyal  |  April 17, 2007 at 11:08 pm

    And I used to think that apartment living is fun. I’ve never lived in one, but it always seemed such fun…in the movies.

    I’ve heard people screaming like that in certain neighbourhoods though. Imposing their misery on others.

    Reply
  • 19. katcampbell  |  April 18, 2007 at 3:05 am

    Laura J – You bet! Maybe I’ll buy this whole building and just rent it to my friends!

    GG – It is fun most of the time. I just don’t understand how people can air their dirty laundry so cavalierly.

    Reply
  • 20. John Linna  |  April 18, 2007 at 3:46 am

    It soujnds like you have a great group of neighbors.

    Reply
  • 21. katcampbell  |  April 18, 2007 at 4:24 am

    Very funny Dr. John. It aint easy being the prissy, prudish old lady on the corner, but I’ll grow into it.

    Reply
  • 22. Gawpo  |  April 18, 2007 at 4:40 am

    Omma guhnness, that is sadly funny. You are fortunate. You can protect your anonymity because you are quiet as a……Kat. sooooo sorry for that.

    Reply
  • 23. Gela Words  |  April 18, 2007 at 4:56 am

    Kat! Why are you in an apartment? What has happened since I last visit. I obviously need to go catch up on your postings. Whatever the case is, you’re hilarious as usual.

    Reply
  • 24. jackiesgarden  |  April 18, 2007 at 5:01 am

    Kat, makes for amusing stories, but I’m sure the living of it isn’t amusing at all. Hope you learn ‘selective’ hearing soon – you know, that kind we had when the kids were little and we could tune out every noise/sound except the ones accompanying blood letting!

    Reply
  • 25. Gela Words  |  April 18, 2007 at 5:17 am

    After reading this post, I had to scroll down to catch up on your life. I’m absolutely speechless Kat! I so hate when sad things happen to lovely people.

    Oh Kat! Wish I could wave a wand and take away the pain. Be strong.

    Reply
  • 26. Gela Words  |  April 18, 2007 at 5:27 am

    Oh, and I live in an apartment building too, security at gate, signs and rules about parking, which I ignore whenever any of the inconsiderate neighbors park in my spot. Don’t hear babies screaming, but the little girl upstairs pours the juice, food, toys she doesn’t want on my balcony. Have met some wonderful people and some arrogant people. There are birds singing outside my windows every morning when I wake.

    Apt.living is the only thing I know since living on my own. I’ve gotten use to it – have taken the good with the bad and I’ve now bought my own apt. and looking forward to moving into same in a few months 🙂

    Reply
  • 27. hayden  |  April 18, 2007 at 7:24 am

    my first thought was an excited “great material!” then I read your comment that you are treating it that way, LOL! There is a great deal of value in having that objective distance that makes you examine the situation when weird/awful things happen, rather than dwell on the misery. Yet another strength you have……..

    Reply
  • 28. katcampbell  |  April 18, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    Gawpo – quiet as a Kat…that was just awful! I’m not quiet, if my neighbors were writers they’d be telling you how I run the vaccum early in the morning and play my weird music.

    Gela – So nice to see you back! Much has happened since you got so busy. I’ll get used to apartment living too, congratulations on buying your own place!

    Jackie – LOL, I remember that “selective hearing”. It really isn’t bad at all, but I will miss my garden.

    Hayden – Thank you, what you call a strength, my passionate brother-dad calls “detachment”. But I can’t remember a time ever I wasn’t looking at everything in terms of how it would translate into written word.

    Reply
  • 29. smileymama  |  April 18, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    Wow. I remember apartment neigbors..mine were all college students in the same teaching program as myself, except I was raising 3 small children too. The Future Canadian Teacher downstairs smoked pot which came up through my bathroom floor. And played the bongos at 9:30 pm. Yes, I did go stare him down in my pajamas and remind him that, as a TEACHER, he outta know that kids need SLEEP.
    T

    Reply
  • 30. Linda  |  April 18, 2007 at 10:56 pm

    I guess apartment complexes and townhouse neighborhoods like I live in are sort of like Peyton Places. I can not hear my neighbors unless they are outside or their windows are open, but you sure can learn hear people fighting sometimes. The guys next door is pretty cool, but the people next to him have soooo many problems. They have a very rocky marriage. He cheated on his wife while she was pregnant with their child and knocked up the women he cheated with. He is never home and when he is the fireworks fly. Two months ago their house was going to public auction and I was elated, but then they worked things out. The whole neighborhood knows what goes on with them. I feel bad for their kid.

    Reply
  • 31. Diesel  |  April 19, 2007 at 12:35 am

    Wow, that’s so sad. Poor kid.

    Reply
  • 32. Hayden  |  April 19, 2007 at 8:36 am

    yep, I understand. sometimes when things are really crazy I find myself “writing the scene” obsessively, over and over from different slants, just trying to get the action right and convey the “truth” (as if there is ever one truth!) about what is transpiring.

    I become so wrapped up in “how do I get this across” that the event becomes objectified, distant.

    Not sure its a coping mechanism, although it works as one. For some of us, finding a way to communicate it is the primary focus. It feels innate.

    I fell, once – 12-15 feet, landed on my head. My first thought as I regained consciousness was analytical “ohhhhhhh —- you really DO see stars! ” and damned if I didn’t try to hold on to them, understand how they fit/didn’t fit the cartoon version. Looking for the angle.

    Your brother/dad may disagree, but I see it as a strength.

    Reply
  • 33. guyana-gyal  |  April 22, 2007 at 2:32 am

    And I thought I was the only one writing scenes as soon as I see / experience them. Good, I have company then.

    Reply
  • 34. Apartment Life - Part Two « kat’s random thoughts  |  June 16, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    […] by katcampbell on June 16th, 2007 Remember my neighbors?  Dear Amber and Shutthefuckup have parted ways.  I know this because I was awakened one morning […]

    Reply

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