Spontaneous Combustion

June 1, 2007 at 4:13 pm 10 comments

John Irving is one of my favorite writers…The Cider House Rules, A Prayer for Owen Meenie, A Son of the Circus…anyway, in one of his books he has this family with a genetic tendency to spontaneously combust.  I suspect that Mr. Irving may have been living a life quite similar to mine lately when he created this quirky family.  He chickened out though, his family blew to bits based on no provocation whatsoever.  I think people should spontaneously combust if they tangle their lives up to the point its inhumanely possible to ever finish their “to do” lists. 

You should be able to tell when a person is about to have their head explode all over the sidewalk.  Maybe they start to turn a particularly vibrant shade of red or steam starts to roll off them in ever growing billows.  It would come in so handy: “No, I’m sorry, I can’t help out with that project, I’m on the verge of spontaneous combustion.” 

It’s been crazy around this joint lately, more jobs than hours in the day.  But there is light at the end of the tunnel (just on the other side of that writers block covering the exit) and I can’t wait to get around and see what everybody’s been up to.

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Fantasize Move It Fatso

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Dave M  |  June 1, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    Bang, Boom, there you go, and all thats left is pile of ash. Perhaps we should all have the ability to do this. Does self combustion count towards my carbon footprint?

    Reply
  • 2. QuillDancer  |  June 1, 2007 at 6:39 pm

    Listen carefully, Kat. If that light at the end of the tunnel is emitting a kind of rhymic sound, you might want to step off the train tracks — especially if you feel any vibrations.

    Reply
  • 3. katcampbell  |  June 1, 2007 at 10:30 pm

    Dave M – LOL! Maybe. I’m glad we don’t have the ability to spontaneously combust, or I’d definately be nothing but a pile of ash nowdays.

    Quilly – Now there’s an optomistic thought!

    Reply
  • 4. Catch  |  June 2, 2007 at 10:08 am

    Oh Kat…dont combust spontaneously…I would miss you!

    Reply
  • 5. Nessa  |  June 2, 2007 at 7:14 pm

    Great idea. Combust (then people will back off) and you can start over with a little more breathing room.

    Reply
  • 6. Tim Id  |  June 3, 2007 at 10:17 am

    If you could tell when someone was going to combust, it wouldn’t be spontaneous, it would be predictable combustion. What’s the fun in that? 🙂

    Reply
  • 7. katcampbell  |  June 4, 2007 at 3:59 am

    Catch – Ah, what a sweet thing to say!
    Nessa – Hmmm…not so sure how much I’d appreciate all the extra room with no head.
    Tim – Spoken like a man who’s never had brains and blood spattered on his brand new white sundress.

    Reply
  • 8. John Linna  |  June 4, 2007 at 5:10 am

    I enjoyed the images that this blog brings out. Heads exploding because life is too busy. But wouldn’t it be horrible if you were genetically prone to this and there were no warning signals. How would you live?

    Reply
  • 9. guyana-gyal  |  June 6, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    sounds like me with pms. or too many nights of not sleeping well.

    Reply
  • 10. Colonise This!  |  June 18, 2007 at 5:27 pm

    LOL!!!

    I have not read a lot of John Irving … just A Prayer for Owen Meenie and I though that was bizarre and fab.

    Reply

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