Move It Fatso

June 4, 2007 at 4:00 pm 18 comments

When my first husband left me in the early eighties he took everything but our two kids and  their cribs.  I lost so much weight, so fast, my friends swore they could see it dropping off as they watched.  We called it the divorce diet.  I never had to fuss much to keep my weight within manageable boundaries.  Then I turned 40.  It got a little tougher, but with diligence, I didn’t have to buy new jeans for any reason except my old ones had worn out.  Then I left Pap and the cosmos turned on me.

Somehow I’ve managed to gain 60 pounds.  I’m sure they didn’t all pile on since I left Pap, but enough of ’em made the migration that I now own a closet full of clothes that don’t fit.  This is unacceptable.  It looks gross and I have no money to buy new clothes. I had no choice but to turn my life over to the Princess of Pain.  For such a tiny girl, she has a wickedly wide mean streak. 

We started out with a pedometer, something to measure how many steps I take a day.  It hasn’t come without complications.  The first one fell off my belt and landed in the toilet during one of the 3,000 trips I make a day from exchanging water for diet pepsi.  I put the next one in my pocket so it wouldn’t fall off and apparently they don’t work if placed in a pocket.  We’ve finally found a place on my body to put the pedometer and it was an eye opener.  Old people in wheel chairs move more than I do.  10,000 steps a day to maintain your weight, 12,000 steps to lose anything.  My best day was 1,568.  Her first official act was to add a walking regimen to my daily routine. 

We started at the trail built for walking at the hospital.  A measured mile, easy slopes, tree covered walkway – several benches and a gazebo to stop and rest on.  Then she got serious.  She took me to the cemetary. 

 Its just up the road from our apartment.  A beautiful place directly across the street from the country club.   Miles and miles of nicely paved roads all of which seem to be slanting up.  I’m sure my heart stopped beating at least three times on that walk.  I was okay with that, at least if I croak on one of those walks she can just kick me into a plot and finish her workout. 

4 pounds down.  56 to go. 


Entry filed under: funny, weight loss.

Spontaneous Combustion Duty

18 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Linda  |  June 4, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    Truly, I understand your pain. I have at least 75 lbs to loose, I think I am down about 13 lbs. I am seeing a dietician at the local hospital and she wants me walking about 4 days a week. With everything that has been going on lately, I am sort of depressed and have no motivation. This too shall pass, I guess. If you need some encouragement drop me an email. Glad to see you back!

  • 2. QuillDancer  |  June 4, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    Kat — you can do it. I am successfully losing for the first time in my life. I am not on a diet — I’ve just upped my exercise and learned to stop eating when I am no longer hungry as opposed to when I’m full, which translates to, “Oh, I think I’m going to explode.”

  • 3. bobciz  |  June 4, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    Nothing like a walk in a cemetary to motivate you into a lifestyle change.

  • 4. Tim_Id  |  June 4, 2007 at 8:34 pm

    “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single pedometer.” –Confusedisus

    Good for you. My ability to eat anything ended when I turned 40. Since then it has been one treadmill after another. Sigh…

  • 5. Nessa  |  June 4, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    You go for it. Lucky you have a great (mean) trainer. Those pedometers are an eye opener.

  • 6. katcampbell  |  June 4, 2007 at 11:02 pm

    Linda – At least you have the excuse of a baby! I’ve been telling people I’m fat because I just had a baby but since she’s usually the one driving nobody believes me. Thanks for the encouragement!

    Quilly – I think I can. I’m not fussing too much on the eating part yet, first I’ll fix the sedentary and if that doesn’t work, I’ll have to give up the Pepsi.

    Bob – So true!

    Tim – Confusedisus has it going on. Middle age sucks for a variety of reasons, but the ability to eat zingers and mashed potatos with reckless abandon is right up there in the top ten.

    Nessa – They really are. I couldn’t believe how little I move every day. Basically from one computer to another.

  • 7. J.  |  June 5, 2007 at 4:38 am

    Good for you!
    I should get myself one of those counters.

  • 8. John Linna  |  June 5, 2007 at 6:51 am

    Once I was 350 pounds . Now I’m 175. I worked to get the wait down to 250 pounds. But the rest I lost in the comma. Good luck and I hope walking works.

  • 9. Dave M  |  June 5, 2007 at 11:45 am

    Let your imagination get to work, a lythe lycra clad woman, pounding the pavements, power striding her way back to fitness. Cycling next ok…you have till the end of the month as “The race across Anmerica” starts then.

    Good luck Kat at least you are doing something about it. Go for it.

  • 10. delmonti (Dave)  |  June 5, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    Wayhey! so much in common. When the wifey decided to move on in the early 90’s I lost 8.5 stone (errrm, 120 pounds) in 4 months. I simply stopped eating, what I did eat just reappeared 20 mins later. It’s knows as the DD diet. Divorce and Debt.

    It took a few years, but I’m now back to being a bit of a bloater…… and the debts are paid off. Hurrah!

  • 11. Mr. Fabulous  |  June 5, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    Watch out for zombies.

    On the other hand, you get a couple of those suckers after you and you get pretty motivated to keep moving.

  • 12. jackiesgarden  |  June 5, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    You go, girl! I can tell that you are the type that WILL do what you put your mind to. You’ll be a big ‘loser’ in no time!! I need to get one of those pedometer’s – pretty interesting.

  • 13. katcampbell  |  June 6, 2007 at 1:52 am

    Jan – Get one, but be prepared to be shocked. It is just flat work to get in 12,000 steps a day when all you’re check paying work is done on a computer.

    Dr. John – Wow, that’s impressive 100 pound weight loss. Thanks for the good wishes.

    Dave M – No joke, that’s how Princess keeps me on the track, we talk about how much I miss roller skating, riding a bike, swimming, skiing, and being able to wear any sundress ever made. Shallow old girl, me.

    Dave – Can’t have been healthy 120 pounds in 4 months…I didn’t lose that much and I ended up anemic. Its so nice to see you celebrating nowdays, a full recovery.

    Mr. Fab – Zombies are too slow to give even me much of workout with their plodding canter. What I need is a good old werewolf.

    Thanks Jackie! Yes, I am strong willed if I am nothing.

  • 14. Stacy  |  June 6, 2007 at 4:42 am

    Can I borrow the Princess of Pain? I could so use someone like her behind me kicking my butt every step of the way.

  • 15. katcampbell  |  June 6, 2007 at 7:26 am

    Stacy – I would pay you to take this wicked little beastie off my hands.

  • 16. guyana-gyal  |  June 6, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Go Kat, go, put on your dancin’ shoes and dance too. Drink water, don’t starve yourself, eat lots of veggies, peas, beans and fruits, low fat cheese.

  • 17. Gawpo  |  June 10, 2007 at 9:52 am

    Twelve thousand steps? I’m doomed. Ain’t gonna happen. All I want is to knock off 25. You go, girl!

  • 18. Colonise This!  |  June 18, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    How are you doing now two weeks later?


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