Disrespect

While its true that I’m the queen of dorks, suffer from terminal clumsiness and occasionally spaz out and do some incredibly stupid things…most of the time I’m Chief Fiscal Officer of the second largest town in our county, Managing Editor of a publishing company and chairman of the largest writing group in two counties.  I am a dignified and respected public figure.  Now will somebody tell that to these tiny cretins?

I should have known something was up when I found Ayla dressed in her girlie prison garb today.  Not yet reacclimated to life outside the slammer, she puked and pooped on me within the first hour.  But I’m no stranger to delinquent behavior, I countered her aggressive acts so she pulled out two fistfuls of my hair.  When her fiendish plan to snatch me bald didn’t work, she called in reinforcements.  Look at them plotting their escape.  Not even in kindergarten yet, and they think they can take on an old mom like me.  Ha…I laughed at their feeble attempts.  They tried everything:  pretending to be cute and cuddly, blowing bubbles, the big one even tried blowing kisses and doing a raspberry on my leg.  But these two are still wet behind the ears.  They forgot one thing in their wicked plot…..  only one of them knows how to walk.